Listen up, my fellow maple-syrup-sucking, hockey-obsessed Canucks – it’s time for a reality check straight from the gut. Buckle up, because Canada’s infrastructure is turning into a goddamn disaster zone faster than you can say “sorry, not sorry.” We’ve got bridges sagging like a middle-aged gut after too many Tim Hortons runs, power grids flickering out like a bad date, and roads so potholed they could swallow a moose whole. And while we’re all clutching our pearls over the latest blackout or bridge scare, let’s not forget: we’ve been forking over billions – yeah, you heard that right, over $22 billion since 2022 – to Ukraine like we’re some kind of international sugar daddy spinning off loonies at a strip club.
Meanwhile, back home, Ontario’s hydro lines are getting fried by road salt and winter weather because nobody bothered to invest in the basics. It’s like we’re living in a third-world country with first-world pretensions, and the same virtue-signalling idiots bitching about their lights going out are the ones cheering when we ship another pallet of cash overseas. Hypocrites, much?Let me paint you a picture, folks – and this ain’t some abstract bullshit; I’ve been screaming about this for years on my blog.
Back in 2022, I laid it out plain as day in “The Power Grid – It’s Doomed!.” Remember that scorching summer in 2006 when Ontario hit a peak power draw of over 27,000 megawatts? We barely had a 5,000-megawatt buffer from Quebec, and that was before everyone and their dog decided to plug in an electric vehicle. Fast-forward to now: the government’s pushing for 50-60% of new cars to be EVs by 2030, but our grid’s a relic from the disco era. A single Level 2 charger sucks down 17 kilowatts – that’s like five air conditioners going full blast.
Multiply that by hundreds of thousands of homes, and boom: blackouts, brownouts, and a system that’s gonna crap out harder than a bad burrito. Homes with 60-amp service? Forget it – upgrades cost thousands, and the grid ain’t ready for the load. I predicted we’d need an extra 23,000 megawatts by 2030 just for EVs, and guess what? We’re nowhere near prepared. Politicians love mandating this green dream, but they won’t foot the trillion-dollar bill to make it work. It’s all pie-in-the-sky utopian crap, and Trudeau’s crew is leading the charge off the cliff.But wait, there’s more! Jump to 2023, when I dropped “Our Bridges Are Not Ready for Electric Vehicles” – because why stop at frying the grid when you can collapse the bridges too? EVs are heavy bastards, folks – those batteries add serious weight, jacking up the load on our spans by a whopping 37%. Our bridges, many over 50 years old, were designed for gas guzzlers, not these electric tanks. We’re talking accelerated wear and tear, safety risks that could turn rush hour into a tragedy, and don’t get me started on parking garages or ferries. Ferries might have to cut capacity because the extra heft screws with stability and fuel efficiency. And the feds? They’re sitting on a $400 billion infrastructure deficit, with funding frozen like a rink in February. No one’s even bothering to update load ratings or invest in reinforcements. It’s like they’re waiting for a semi to plunge into the river before they go, “Oh, eh, maybe we should do something.”Fast-forward to last year – October 2024, to be exact – and I hammered it home again in “Canada’s Infrastructure Crisis: Waiting for a Catastrophe?.” Forty percent of our municipal roads are in poor or very poor shape; 30% of bridges are the same. Water treatment plants failing, power grids buckling under winter salt buildup (yeah, that “toxic mixture” the Halton Hills Hydro CEO’s been ranting about on X lately), and boil water advisories popping up like weeds. We’re spending a measly $43.9 billion when we need $452 billion just to keep the lights on and the taps running. Deferred maintenance? It’s a ticking time bomb, turning small fixes into balloon payments that’ll bankrupt us.
Politicians kick the can down the potholed road because these projects take decades – way longer than their four-year ego trips. No ribbon-cutting ceremonies for burying new hydro lines or reinforcing bridges; that’s not sexy enough for votes. Instead, they chase shiny new shit like LRTs or arenas, while the backbone crumbles.
And here’s the real kick in the teeth, that boils my blood: while our infrastructure rots, we’ve been playing global hero. Since Russia’s invasion in 2022, Canada has tossed nearly $22 billion at Ukraine – $12.4 billion in straight cash, $6.5 billion in military gear stretching to 2029, and millions more in humanitarian fluff. That’s our tax dollars, folks – money that could fix our grids, shore up our bridges, and keep Ontarians from freezing their asses off during the next salt-induced outage. But no, we’re virtue-signalling like it’s going out of style.
The same pearl-clutchers whining about flickering lights in Vaughan or Halton Hills are the ones applauding when we cut another check. And the next time that tracksuit-wearing Ukrainian president comes knocking for another $10 billion? Tell him to piss off! We’ve got our own fires to fight – literal pole fires from salt-contaminated hydro lines, thanks to decades of neglect.
Look, I’m not heartless, war sucks, and helping out is fine when your house is in order. But ours ain’t, not even close, and if you pulled yout head out of your ars, and stopped listening to the likes of the CBC, you would know this.
We’ve got urban sprawl slapping more crap near salted roads, aging insulators that can’t handle the “conductive sludge” from brine mixes, and winters getting nastier with climate BS. Utilities like Alectra are out there washing lines 24/7 as a band-aid, but it’s lipstick on a pig. We need real investment: polymer insulators, eco-alternatives to salt like beet juice (hey, the Yanks in Wisconsin figured that out), and a national grid that’s interconnected instead of this provincial patchwork quilt.
Politicians?
They’re the problem. These short-term clowns won’t touch long-haul fixes because they can’t hang their hat on ’em come election time. No glory in preventing a catastrophe – only in reacting to one with photo ops and emergency funds. We should learn from the Swedes or Norwegians: allocate 3-5% of GDP to infrastructure, use life-cycle costing, and plan like adults. But nah, we’d rather play international philanthropist while our own backyard turns to shit.
So, Canada, it’s time to grow a pair. Stop the foreign aid firehose until we’ve plugged our leaks. Demand accountability from Ottawa and Queen’s Park. And for God’s sake, read my old posts – I’ve been warning you. If we don’t act, the next blackout won’t just kill your Netflix binge; it’ll tank the economy and leave us in the dark, literally. Wake up before it’s too late, you hosers. Rant over – for now.
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