Alright, folks, buckle up, because tonight I’m channeling my inner Canadian rage—eh?—and it’s aimed square at that silver-spooned sorcerer of the global elite, Mark Carney. You know Mark? The guy who used to run the Bank of England like it was his personal yacht club, who jets around Davos preaching about climate Armageddon while sipping champagne from bottles that cost more than your monthly rent. Well, surprise! In this shiny new Budget 2025: A Plan to Build Canada Strong—yeah, strong for who, exactly?—Mark’s got your back. Or should I say, he’s got their backs. The ones with the private helipads and the 100-foot ocean palaces. Because nothing says “I’m fighting for the little guy” like axing the luxury tax on yachts and private jets.
Let me paint this picture for you, you hardworking schlubs scraping by on Tim Hortons wages and dreams of a down payment on a condo the size of a broom closet. There you are, staring at your grocery bill that’s ballooned faster than Elon Musk’s ego, wondering how you’re gonna afford the next hike in rent or the “affordable” daycare that’s anything but. And what does Saint Mark deliver in his 493-page tome of fiscal fairy tales? A big, fat middle finger to the taxman—in the form of a full repeal of the luxury tax on aircraft and vessels. That’s right: planes and boats for the one percenters. No more pesky 10% hit on that Gulfstream G700 you “need” for your weekend hop to the Caymans, or the 20% sting on your superyacht because—gasp!—it exceeds $250,000 in value. I mean, who among us hasn’t felt the real pain of dropping a cool million on a floating hot tub?
Straight from the budget’s own lips, page 230: “Budget 2025 announces the government’s intention to end the luxury tax on aircraft and vessels as of the day after Budget Day.” Oh, poetic—ends tomorrow, so the ink’s not even dry before the champagne corks pop on Lake Ontario. And why? To “provide relief to the aviation and boating industries” and “increase the overall efficiency of the luxury tax framework.” Efficiency! That’s code for “screw the poors a little less obviously.” Page 366 spells it out in legalese no one reads: This tax—slapped on since 2022 to make the rich sweat a bit for their excess—gets the boot entirely. No more lesser-of-10%-of-the-value-or-20%-over-the-threshold nonsense. Just pure, unadulterated savings for the Bay Street barons who treat economy class like a war crime.
And get this: It’s not just a tweak; it’s a full excision. Page 484 boasts about how this carve-out “would provide tax relief to individuals who would otherwise pay the luxury tax,” like that’s some noble crusade. Individuals! You mean the trust-fund titans who summer in Muskoka and winter in Monaco? The fiscal hit? A measly $135 million in foregone revenue over five years—peanuts compared to the billions Carney’s “saving” by canceling the consumer carbon tax (which, by the way, was the one thing actually pinching the wallets of actual families). But hey, priorities: Page 306 admits it straight-up, lumping this repeal in with ditching the Underused Housing Tax as “inefficient” measures that free up “administrative savings.” Savings for who? The CRA drones shuffling papers, or the oligarchs shuffling their offshore accounts?
This is Carney unmasked, people. The man who hobnobbed with BlackRock billionaires and lectured us plebs on net-zero virtue-signaling while his mates melt the ice caps with their fossil-fueled joyrides. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about your Timmy’s hockey fees or your grandma’s skyrocketing meds. No, Mark plays for the rich—the ones who donate to his Liberal war chest and laugh all the way to the hangar. Remember when he posed as the green warrior? Now he’s greenlighting green-free getaways for the elite. It’s scorched-earth hypocrisy: Supercharge homebuilding for the masses? Sure, with GST rebates for first-timers that barely cover a parking spot. But yachts? Full repeal, baby! Because nothing builds a “strong Canada” like ensuring the top 0.1% can dock their decadence without a dime’s deduction.
And don’t get me started on the bought-and-paid-for CBC, that taxpayer-funded echo chamber slurping at the government teat like it’s free poutine. They’ll spin this as “economic stimulus for jobs in boating!” or some such bullshit, interviewing yacht salesmen about how Carney’s a hero for “hardworking maritime artisans.” Meanwhile, they’re blacking out the parts where your EI cheque gets trimmed or your dental coverage stays a pipe dream. Folks, if you’re still tuning into that state-sponsored snoozefest for your news, do yourselves a favor: Log off, crack open the actual budget at budget.canada.ca, and read pages 230, 366, and 484 yourself. See the scam in black and white. Mark Carney isn’t your buddy; he’s the bouncer at the velvet rope, and you’re forever stuck in the line.
New rule: If your economic plan starts with “relief” for private jets and ends with “resilience” for everyone else, it’s not a budget—it’s a bribe. Wake up, Canada. Your strong future? It’s floating away on someone else’s luxury liner. And Mark? He’s at the helm, toasting with caviar. Cheers to that, you smug son of a bitch.
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