The JFK Files – A Dead Man’s Joke Wrapped in Chicken Scratch – And We Want the Real Files

First, Let’s Get This Straight: I Did the Work

Before anyone says this is conspiracy theorist rambling or keyboard-warrior speculation—let me be perfectly clear. This wasn’t a Reddit thread or a YouTube rabbit hole.

This was Project JFK—a full-scale, AI-powered, forensic investigation into the 2,300+ so-called “JFK declassified files.” After 19 hours of my server grinding through more than 80,000 pages, what did I get?

Over 1,200 pages of structured forensic intelligence or I thought so, processed by a Python program I wrote—designed to extract dates, names, relationships, and timelines from every dusty corner of every grainy scan and half-legible scribble. I then wrote a script to let AI have it’s way with each page, extracting critical information one page at a time. Names, Dates, places and events, everything was directed.

This wasn’t guesswork. It was surgical, repeatable, and powered by real analytics.

Let me walk you through what that looked like:


Project JFK: How We Did It

  • All 2,300 + PDFs downloaded into one local repository.
  • AI-powered document processing for the content, and custom logic to decode handwriting, nicknames, aliases, and cross-references.
  • Names. Dates. Events. Places. Relationships. All extracted and indexed in a forensic-level analysis.
  • Deconflicted names, matched timelines, looked for co-occurrences, causal links, and contradictions.
  • Cross-referenced committee statements with public narratives.
  • Ran over 1200 pages of condensed forensic extracts through analytics to track every name that ever shared a document with Kennedy or Oswald.

The result? Well… buckle up.


WFT!

We’ve been hearing it for decades:
“Just wait until the JFK files are released. Then we’ll know the truth.”

Well, they’ve been “released.”

And if this pile of incoherent, disconnected, typewriter-era detritus is what 60 years of national secrecy was protecting, then I want every one of those CIA filing clerks drug tested—because someone was high.

This isn’t “the truth.” This is the IKEA instructions for the truth—half missing, poorly translated, and full of screws that don’t fit.


We Ran the Forensics—and the Puzzle is Missing Half the Pieces

117 JFK-Related Events Found

Sounds legit, until you realize it’s 117 episodes of pure bloody nothingness. Not one individual appears more than once in any entry that names both Oswald and Kennedy.
Do you know how hard that is?
That’s like watching 117 scenes of The Godfather without ever seeing Don Corleone. I mean seriously what the hell is this shit!

Where are the connections?
Where are the repeat players?
Where’s the motive?

Nowhere. That’s where.


No Network. Just Noise.

We used AI to track who was in the room, who they talked to, who they wrote memos about.
Guess what?

  • George DeMohrenschildt? One-and-done.
  • David Atlee Phillips? Ghosted after one line.
  • CIA assets? All cameos. No stars.

This isn’t a network.
It’s a casting call for Missing Connections: Cold War Edition.


The Timeline That Time Forgot

Sure, the documents span from 1963 to 2025—but good luck finding a coherent story.

What you’ll find is:

  • Half-dates.
  • Memos with no sender.
  • News clippings with no context.
  • And just enough redactions to make you wonder if the guy with the Sharpie was paid by the inch.

We expected a trail of breadcrumbs.
We got a buffet of cardboard.


The Inconsistencies? None—Because Nothing’s Said Twice

We even compared committee findings to media reports—side by side, year by year.
Want to know the difference between what they told Congress and what they told the public?

You can’t—because they never talk about the same thing twice – Oh simply F me!!!!

It’s like someone said, “Hey, let’s release the files. Just make sure none of them ever contradict each other.” Well, bloody mission accomplished.


Sanitized. Curated. And Still Classified.

This isn’t transparency. It’s theater.

They gave us:

  • Chicken-scratch memos from guys you’ve never heard of.
  • Committee notes so vague they might’ve been written by ChatGPT on Ambien.
  • “Investigative timelines” that literally stop before the assassination.

And let’s not forget the pièce de résistance—the juicy stuff is STILL CLASSIFIED.

That’s right. They gave us the postcards and kept the crime scene photos.


Final Word: We Want the Real Files

So enough, I don’t want to hear anything about the “JFK Files” out of anyone’s pie hole. No more press releases about “final disclosures.” No more theatrical declassifications where the real content is still locked behind vault doors and national security excuses.

We don’t want your appendices.
We want the plot.

We don’t want redacted summaries.
We want unredacted confessions.

We don’t want Project Bluebook-level deflection.
We want Project TRUTH.


You had 60 years to come clean. You gave us a coloring book.

But we’re not kids anymore.
And we’re done playing.

Release. The. Real. Files!!!!!


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