Welcome to another episode of “What Did They Just Say?”—featuring none other than Canada’s Deputy Prime Minister and Finance Minister, Chrystia Freeland. If you were looking for clarity on Canada’s new tax policy, you might need to wade through a swamp of political rhetoric first.

Freeland’s recent interview with Vassy Kapelos from CTV was a masterclass in the fine art of talking a lot without actually saying anything. Imagine a tennis match where the player volleys every ball without ever trying to score. Freeland showed up with a racket, but it’s unclear if she ever intended to play the game.

The Setup

Kapelos asked a straightforward question: Is this tax hike sound economic policy or a political maneuver to corner conservatives? Simple enough, right? Well, not for Freeland. She dodged the question like a matador dodges a bull. According to her, it’s about “fairness” and “necessary investments.” Translation: If you don’t agree with this policy, you’re against fairness and progress. Nice trick, Chrystia!

The Word-Salad Technique

Freeland’s method? Reframe, deflect, and reframe again. It’s like watching someone juggle chainsaws while reciting Shakespeare. When Kapelos pressed her on whether this tax would solve all of Canada’s woes, Freeland pivoted to a greatest hits compilation of government programs: dental care, early learning, and even AI investments. It’s all part of the same song and dance. You know, the one where the chorus is always, “We’re doing it for fairness!”

Deflection Mastery

Kapelos didn’t back down, though. She highlighted the massive gap between the tax’s revenue and the government’s spending spree. Freeland’s response? More word salad, garnished with some cherry-picked stats. She cited permits for new home buildings as a win, conveniently ignoring that permits don’t equate to actual houses. It’s like boasting about buying a gym membership and calling it a fitness achievement.

Moral High Ground Maneuver

One of Freeland’s favorite plays is the “appeal to fairness.” She passionately argued that it’s unjust for a teacher to pay higher taxes than a multi-millionaire. This, while sidestepping the fact that many Canadians investing in rental properties are hardly living the high life. But who cares about the nuances when you can frame it as a battle of good versus evil?

Data and Distractions

Freeland loves her data—especially when it can be twisted to fit her narrative. Lower interest rates? That’s thanks to our responsible policies, she claims. Never mind the growing public sector and bloated consultancy contracts. Just focus on the shiny success stories, folks.

Staying On Message

No matter the question, Freeland has a knack for steering the conversation back to her comfort zone. She’s like a GPS stuck on “fairness,” recalculating any route that dares to stray from her talking points. It’s impressive in a way, like watching a magician who keeps pulling the same rabbit out of different hats.

The Bottom Line

Freeland’s interview was a clinic in political obfuscation. If there were an Olympic event for dodging questions, she’d take gold. Kapelos asked legitimate, pressing questions, and Freeland responded with a carefully crafted narrative that sounded good but offered little substance.

In the end, we’re left with more questions than answers. How will these policies really impact Canadians? Will they truly see a return on the government’s so-called investments? Freeland’s word salad didn’t provide much nourishment for those hungry for real answers.

So, hats off to Chrystia Freeland, the maestro of political spin. Here’s hoping next time she steps up to the mic, she’ll serve us something a bit more digestible and a lot less dressed up.

Something Worth Pointing Out

Here’s the kicker: As Freeland talks about all the things her government needs to fix, she does so with the conviction of someone pointing fingers from the opposition benches. But let’s not forget—she’s part of the very government responsible for these shortcomings. The rising costs, the degraded public services, the housing crisis—these aren’t problems she inherited; they’re issues that have festered under her watch. Someone needs to remind her: the mirror is right there, Chrystia. Maybe it’s time to take a long, hard look into it and realize these failures are on your government. If you’re going to serve up word salad, at least own up to who’s been cooking in the kitchen.