Why some will not let go of COVID

I want to talk about something I have seen not only in these last few months but for a long time. I have become very interested in the psychology of people and have sort of studied this topic intensely over the last several years, not only for personal mental health but for general interest reasons. Through this work, I have discovered and observed human traits I have read about that I have seen in people recently. It must be said though, I am not a phycologist, far from it and I would never pretend to be an expert on this topic, I am more someone who has emersed themselves in this subject and shares observations.

There’s this old saying from the New Testament about not praying in public. It reads that if you’re going to commune for the higher good, you should do it in private because otherwise, you’re warping your ethic in some sense by demonstrating how virtuous you are to the world. It’s like you go outside with a stick and a sign on it that says I’m against poverty; it’s like yeah, no kidding, like who is for poverty. Some seem to have this sense of abdication of responsibility with the mask of social virtue. It makes sense then if we truly want to solve challenging problems, figure out how to get along with a brother you’ve been fighting with for five years, or see staple your family back together that has come apart due to conflict.  One could be doing things in the confines of their own life that are private and humble that would constitute genuine change and accomplishment.  But you see, the problem for some is that no one will come along and say, “good job” because it’s private.

Externalizing the problems or crisis elsewhere is a dreadful mistake because the issues are not usually elsewhere. The overwhelming evidence shows that we should all work on and solve our problems before going and telling someone else that maybe they’re not who they should be. I am sure you have that friend or someone you may know who seems to jump from crisis to crisis, someone who seems so caught up on the idea that the world is going to end. You often wonder if they are most happy when they are in a panic and virtue signalling to everyone else for not being part of their crisis. They will judge, argue and scream things like your racist or the world is burning to we will all die from COVID. Most of the time, if not all, when we observe these people, one thing becomes quite evident, this “crisis” that has them spinning around the clock serves as a distraction to what is usually the reality that their own lives are in serious need of fixing. In many cases, these individuals, often unknowingly, are also trying to live in a state of distraction. When the drama dies down and things are calm, there is more time to think. This pause in their life is why these people tend to jump from one crisis to another. Without a world problem to bear, the burden translates into an uncomfortable state of being, as this means facing situations in their lives that they are trying to avoid and bury.

Unfortunately, no amount of drama and distraction will keep underlying issues at bay for good. Eventually, they will need to deal with whatever problems they may have or have had. The anxiety that arises from these issues will typically produce a chaos response that provides the needed relief. The strange thing is that people who always seem to be surrounded by drama or dealing with a crisis are often very charismatic. These people tend to be extroverts, and others can be drawn to them, especially those who suffer from self-esteem and self-confidence issues.

The drama queen or king can influence the opinion of others by over-blowing situations and riling people up. Not all, but clinically proven to a large degree,  many people who seem to thrive in constant drama sometimes have trouble maintaining long-term relationships. Their charismatic personality cannot offset the frustration and exhaustion created by their ongoing drama and stressful behaviour. People who are become drawn into this behaviour can find that their anxiety levels rise to unmanageable levels. This creates stress within their tribe or family as their dysfunctional behaviour impacts all those around them. It perpetuates and permeates into society. With the media seeming to add fuel to their worries of the world, it starts to result in a society riddled with toxicity where we find people on edge, less friendly and seeming in a state of mind of the always-on guard on the lookout for the next threat.

People are less familiar, impatient, and are no longer that cordial person they once used to be. The impacts of this type of social imbalance are observed and documented in chimpanzees in the wild. When only a few members of one group became unstable, cortisol levels increased throughout the entire group.  Social instability was cause for aggression, and those who were usually calm became aggressive to the point of invading other groups, killing weaker members, and taking over areas in the forest. In addition, the highs and lows of drama ups and downs can have serious health effects on a person who lives in this state. The stress that these fluctuations create in your body can produce excess adrenaline and cortisol that affect the functioning of other systems within the body. Add to that high blood pressure, sleep and eating disturbances, and you have a recipe for a cascade of potential health problems. As those around them lose interest and patience toward their behaviour, they soon become forced to face the underlying issues they have tried to ignore. The one who seeks drama can become very susceptible to depression. We are not talking about a few sad days; clinical depression is much more severe, depending on the severity. Severe depression that extends over a long period will damage the brain. Many studies show physical brain damage through the use of MRIs that showed evidence of hippocampus shrinkage. I could go deeper into depression linked to what we face now, but I will keep to our topic.

So if your friend or family member’s drama and constant crises are starting to wear on your nerves, take some time to consider what may be the cause of their behaviour. It could be that they are actually in need of some help with more than the latest drama. With social media and the news continually at the volume of eleven, with a daily dose of doom and gloom, it sometimes makes sense to turn it all off and look inward to one’s community  Sometimes it makes better sense to ignore the problems of the world.  Some people I wonder are like crisis-alcoholics, whereby some can dip their toe into world issues and get out safely to go about their day. In contrast, some who become involved in world issues seem unable to stop, where it continues to consume them and all around them. We all know, or at least should know, that politics drives many of these issues; they will never go away; the train of world problems seems to arrive on the hour and every hour; it’s relentless and non-stop.

As an idea and for the sake of our mental health, we sometimes don’t show up at the train station and take a break from feeling that we must fix the things that we perceive as broken. Perhaps instead, we sometimes fix the things broken in our own lives, repair the friendships damaged by all this, say the sorries for the judgments we may have passed.

Perhaps we need each community to have time-without-social media, times to allow for some decompression, to empower us to reconnect in a more proper authentic manner. So the next time you hear a friend freaking out over some issue, perhaps they are simply crying out for help, look deeper and find a way to support them, to get them out of those high-negative states, so we don’t end up invading our neighbours and beating them to bloody death.

One thought on “Why some will not let go of COVID

  1. intereesting analogy, I myself have tried to understand why people still believe in the narrative of you know what despite of the facts and logic presented, like people are not dying in the streets or on mass, or that a vaxx doesnt protect from any disease (most likly is causing disease)even tho people like fauci and billy the gates said it is not working like they hoped, doesnt stop transmission or reduce covid as much as previously though (I am paraphrasing of course) but push the vaxx they must and some people dont seem to see a problem with that. I think if it is not working and is causing all sorts of bad effects then maybe they need to stop the whole process and encourage people to calm down and eat properly and dont smoke or tak alot of drugs including prescriptions and explain that virus only means poison, there is no particle called a virus capable of hijacking your dna to replicate itself, that is impossible for a virus to do so even if it was some living thing.

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